Shinji16’s Blog

So, things over the past few weeks things have felt in what I’ve been internally referring to as a freefall. I get to one day, and have the mentality of “Ok, tonight I just need to do this that and other thing, and then the next day I’ll be to relax” but then the evening of the next day hits, and time I do relax feels so… small. What’s really terrifying is that for the first time in the 2 years I’ve been at Cox, work is starting to feel like, well, work.

To better elaborate on the freefall bit, it’ll be Friday, and I’ll think “Ok, I have company over tonight, then church Sunday morning so Saturday is an early night, then Monday and Tuesday night I have to practice music for Tim, and then get up early Wednesday, and then all Wednesday afternoon and night I can relax.” So, I’m mentally pacing myself for several days in advance, but then once I get through my mini-gauntlet, the reprieve isn’t really feeling like one.

What’s been more disturbing for me is the fact that I keep coming back to the thought of that I’m 25, and technically a third of the way through my run on life, assuming I croak around 75. So, trying to math it up, am I a third of where I wanted to be, once all is said and done? I feel like I should have more money saved towards my arcade, and all the little petty spending that happens makes me horribly irresponsible, but then again, occasional albums on iTunes and so forth don’t seem like I’m blowing money recklessly.

I keep telling myself that I’m just getting older and trying to feel more responsible, but since when did that mean beating myself up over everything, in the hopes of just suddenly becoming a full adult? I often joke with friends that “I hope life never catches up with me”, in that one day I’ll look down, and suddenly see myself wearing a dress shirt and tie, look around and see I’m in a cube farm and working daytime hours. I’m currently up all night, having fun at work, and general living life like a college student or a gamer living with their parents, but instead I have my own home and possible career. What have I done wrong, if anything?

Musings about my life aside, things are “good”. Job is good, friends are good, no drama or anything to deal with… So why am I freaking out even more about my current place in

Long time, no updates. I know, this is a horrible habit of mine, but now that I’ve finally gotten a lot of things and shenanigans put behind me. Now, I’m hoping to get a few things tweaked with my Wordpress, but I can still post entries regardless. So, hopefully by the end of next week, I’ll have a few short reviews of some indie games that are out, and also post about things in general too.

Now, I will be talking about what’s going on in my life here from time to time, but the best way to keep up with me is on Twitter (user Shinji16). If you have a Facebook, I’m user Shinji16, but beware I do not check my Facebook at all; I simply have it linked to Twitter so any Tweets will update my status.

Take care, be safe, and looking forward to sharing my experiences with you.

Brendan

New site, thanks to WordPress. Also, huge technical difficulties, thanks to Wordpress. I’ll have this site up and running the way I want soon, but that also means me re-learning some php/html shenanigans first. Stay tuned…

This is my first post! Huzzah!